ZenFold Post

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

Once, I was in a class where the professor asked us, “Do any of you have a friend or family member, that no matter what you did they would still be there for you?” Surprisingly, I was one of the few people who raised their hand. At that point, I realized how fortunate I was to have even one person in my life that saw the best in me no matter what happened. As I live my life, I realize how these people are more rare and important to me than anything else in this world. Today I thank those of you in my life who has gave me strength in times of adversity. I want to give this moment to you in gratitude and let you know… thank you.

Having never left the house you are looking for the way home.

- Vedic Saying

First, I would like to apologize to my readers for not posting anything lately. University has been definitely getting to me. I am currently taking third year Psychology, which is interesting and challenging at the same time. It’s funny because when people ask me what I am taking and I say “Psychology”, they ask me, “does that mean you can tell me what’s wrong with me?” or “can you read my mind?” Well…ummm, I am not going to tell a complete stranger what is wrong with him or her (and that would be hypocritical of me), and no I cannot read minds (sorry for the disappointment). Just an update on myself…I recently realized I don’t know what I really want to do with my life and, I don’t know what I really want out of life. This is good and bad at the same time. It’s good in that life can exciting this way and it’s bad because I am not sure whether I am making the right decisions or not. This coming of age is fun at times; I am making decisions as half an adult, with the other part of me as a child.

I have learned a lot in the last couple of years. Number one, I am not the only one. I was amazed to find how many other people my age develop anxiety disorders and feel the pressure of university life. It’s scary, but it’s tough to admit when I am in a world of competition with others.  And number two…I am not perfect. Yeah, that’s right, although, it was worth a try. I have to admit that I tried working out until I was exhausted, just to look a bit better in a dress. However, I realized that my self-esteem comes not from being someone else, but being myself, flaws and all. I read a Vedic saying recently that really resonated with me. It says “Having never left the house you are looking for the way home.”.   This saying reminded me that as we were busy looking outside ourselves, fulfillment was always within us. Although I am still working on finding that part of me, I am happier just to be moving forward.

 To me love consists of acceptance of one’s beliefs and personality. Diversity is an amazing thing and, I think it’s great to learn about different ways. Wisdom comes from experience, but it also comes from having an open mind.  Let us not limit ourselves to what we think we know. Tolerance starts with understanding, which leads to compassion. I pray you get some inspiration from the following quotes:

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
- Buddha 

 A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and at the right place, and when we expect nothing in return

-          Bhagavad Gita    

A man who is averse from harming even the wind knows the sorrow of all things living. He who knows what is bad for himself knows what is bad for others, and he who knows what is bad for others knows what is bad for himself.

-          Acaranga Sutra 

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

-          Lao Tzu  

What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.

-          Confucius

 And what will explain to you what the steep path is? It is the freeing of a (slave) from bondage; or the giving of food in a day of famine to an orphan relative, or to a needy in distress. Then will he be of those who believe, enjoin fortitude and encourage kindness and compassion.

-          Holy Qur’an

Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not  quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance.

-          Holy Bible

Faith without Deeds is Dead

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

-          Martin Luther King Jr.

 I am writing this post for both my readers and myself.  I have a difficult time showing my love as an action, or as my pastor said, “Love is an action word.” Thus, we must practice what we believe in.

Developing faith within is an important starting point, but like love, without any form of expression, it dies.  The word I am expressing here is to be proactive. Proactive means to take charge with anticipation of results, while being prepared for change and/or adversity.

I believe that faith is an expression of pure love, in which we posses ultimate trust in a higher authority/being. Faith can come in many different forms depending on your culture and personal beliefs. Nonetheless, remember that faith comes with love, and is not separate. Choosing love as the highest good is a form of practicing faith.  Therefore, express your faith through helping others by expressing kindness and compassion. In Buddhism, it comes in the form of Karma where you are punished or rewarded according to how you treat living things. Don’t worry whether you will have good fortune in the coming days or years, the best rewards come from knowing that you did something good for someone else, and therefore, making the world a better place.

Learning to be Still

In this country, the health concerns and the environmental concerns are as deep as in Europe. All the surveys show that. But here, we didn’t have the cultural dimension. This is a fast-food culture.

-          Jeremy Rifkin

 Today’s society relies on fast production and short wait times. Although, the fast market is good for business, it’s not good for our physical or mental health.  Statistics Canada states that those who work over 46 hours a week experience lower life satisfaction due to the imbalance in their lives.

However, our fast food culture doesn’t just stop at work. The media is continually pressuring people to have it all right now. The truth is long-term life satisfaction involves patience and time. For example, it takes longer to wait for a gourmet meal at a fancy restaurant than getting a burger at McDonalds, but the gourmet meal is usually better. 

In order to slow down, we need to change our expectations. Whatever happened to waiting until at least the third date to kiss? Now it’s not even at the beginning of the first date. Like a delicious meal, things take time; but by practicing patience, you are doing yourself and others a huge favour.  

Ralf Waldo Emerson once said, “Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” If we take a lesson from nature, we may learn to be still and patient. A tree starts out with a small seed but can grow over 100 feet tall. If we wait and reach towards the light, we can be like the tallest trees.  In her stillness, the Earth speaks to us. She tells us to take time for ourselves and experience her wonderful beauty. Therefore, don’t forget to breathe and live while you still have time.

My challenge for you and myself is to practice 15 minutes of stillness/meditation a day for a week (7 days).  Feel free leave comments on your experience.

There is no darkness but ignorance.

-          William Shakespeare

 Last night I had a dream that I lost my memory and was able to forget about my past mistakes. In my dream, I had the opportunity to go back and make things right…I had the opportunity to forgive others. I had forgiven them and, myself because what happened in the past no longer existed in my mind. Nonetheless, the majority of us have a hard time forgetting some of our past hurts. Finding a solution in letting go can be difficult, but possible.

My faith tells me that God’s spirit takes our past mistakes and turns them into something positive. Prayer is an important part of healing. It allows us to let go of our life to a higher power. God sees our life from beginning to end, He knows we are never stuck and, we always have new glorious opportunities confronting us. However, sometimes we miss these opportunities because our minds are stuck somewhere in the past. The fact is you cannot change it.  All we have is now and, what we do now will influence our future.

Our dreams consist of a world considered “unreal”, but what I’ve learned from mine is that they can be just as real as my waking life. How can we know the difference between fact and fiction? I am thankful for the lessons I’ve learned, which make me a wiser person. We have no need to feel guilty over our “mistakes” because like guiding lights, we have the intuition from God and our dreams, which give us direction necessary for forgiveness and healing. Just remember, there are many benefits in listening to that inner voice.

There are many self-help books on the market today, promising results when you follow the author’s directions. I’ve read a considerable amount of these books since I started studying Psychology.  Furthermore, the following points provide a summary of the most useful information summarized from several popular self-help books:

- Your thoughts reflect your actions and, thus determine the outcome of events in your life

- Living in the present moment offers you a clean emotional slate by helping you overcome the stress of your past and future

- True happiness comes from within

- Bitterness towards others will only make you feel worse and, others will avoid you

- Life is short, so take time for yourself

- Help others, it will make you feel good while benefiting those around you

- Forgive others and, don’t forget to forgive yourself

-Meditation helps your mind resolve emotional hurts and allows a deep sense of relaxation and healing

- Gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving you joy

-True meditation is the process of letting go of the meaning of your thoughts and emotions

- Prayer helps release your worries through appointing them to a higher power

- Exercise and yoga reduce depression and anxiety by balancing hormones in the body

-  True love consists of giving without expectation

In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.

-          Deepak Chopra

 As many of you know, the Bible states that God created the world in seven days, but technically six…because on the seventh day he rested. Although God could have carried on with business as usual, He set an example for the rest of us and, took a coffee break (although I am not sure if there is coffee in heaven).

I figure if God took a day off from running the world that we can take a day off too. Sometimes we are caught up in the craziness of our culture, never feeling satisfied with what we have. Think of a moment in your life when you were truly happy and at a state of peace. What were you doing? Were you trying to get anything accomplished?

Many have heard that happiness is a state of inward contentment, but forget this when pursuing the all mighty dollar. The fact is…money is a social construction. After the Second World War, in Germany, people burned money to keep warm, because it was worthless in the eyes of the economy. Therefore, the world needs something more solid to depend on. What it needs is a lesson in needs.

The times that we are still are the moments when we understand our hearts. Then we are able to move forward with certainty and love.  Taking a break for yourself is important in your life as well as the lives of others. Our bodies are not capable of continuing without rest. If you do not sleep, your body will build a sleep debt. If you do not spend quality time with others, you will become lonely. If you do not have time for yourself, others will likely drive you crazy.

Musician Ornette Coleman once said, “I remember once I read a book on mental illness and there was a nurse that had gotten sick. Do you know what she died from? From worrying about the mental patients not being able to get their food. She became a mental patient.”

 Sometimes we have a hard time separating our work from our personal lives, but if you do not make that separation, you will not be able to rest. Luckily, you do not have the responsibility of running the world, but if God can take a break, certainly you can too.

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
- Virginia Wolf

I have been debating whether to write this article, but if you see it through, I may inspire some thoughts for you…

When I started first year, my thoughts on feminists were less than flattering. However, with a bit of research and personal experience, I became a feminist myself.

I remember sitting in Sociology class with all my fellow cringing classmates, listening to a talk supporting the rights of women. Like me, many of us have seen too many articles and stories about radical feminism.  News tends to report the extreme cases of everything occurring in the world, which is not a representation of the majority of our experiences.

The definition of feminism is the belief that both sexes are equal and, everyone has the right to have human rights. Nowhere does it believe that women are better than men are. In fact, the majority of religions also believe both sexes are equal (who knew?). We are created differently to fulfill certain roles, but no role is better than the other is.

 Society has skewed the expectations of both males and females. God never intended us to be judged in the ways we are. I get upset when I see how some young women feel forced to display themselves to attract male attention. Many of us think of this period as a time of female sexual liberation, but it is actually a form of bondage. Our culture allows men to expect women to put out in a sexual manner. Incidents of rape are on the rise because social media is exploiting young women, making men see us as objects rather than people.

 Female rights are declining in the west. We need to encourage women to love themselves and not worry about what the world thinks. We need to teach men that females are not here for them. In a sense, our bodies belong to our creator, which should be a symbol of love and respect. The Bible states that both man and woman are accountable to one another to act towards each other in love and, not personal expectation.

Remember, change starts with you. Love yourself for who you are and respect others. We can still change the world, and save many lives from the current expectations that our culture places on us.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

-          Dalai Lama

I am not sure if anyone is with me on this, but I tend to wonder what the definition of compassion actually is. Dictionaries are not always useful when trying to understand the context of a word. First, I will teach you the opposite word, which is “apathy”. In short, the dictionary defines apathy as “a lack of concern”.

    Apathy is not always a bad thing, but it happens to be the antagonist of compassion. Apathy was the reason the Second World War started and, compassion is what ended it.

 Compassion is love in action. Love begins by caring for someone and, compassion acts on love by attempting to alleviate pain and/or discomfort. However, love cannot exist without compassion and, compassion cannot exist without love. In a sense, they form a single cohesive definition. I think compassion is more of an aspect of love. Without compassion, true love ceases to exist.

What is most important is how the word is applied. Saying, “compassion is important” does not necessarily make you compassionate. Hence, it contains the word “passion”, suggesting a desire towards action. Compassion starts with a deep desire to help others and, then the decision to follow through.

In Mahayana Buddhism, the highest form of spirituality is putting others’ salvation before your own. According to this form of Buddhism, one who devotes his/her life for the concern of another is called a bodhisattva. In many religions, compassion is the most important aspect to personal salvation.

In order to practice compassion, you do not need to take any vows as a bodhisattva. It can be free and provide a form of personal liberation. A simple smile or buying someone a cup of coffee will do just fine. Just do whatever you can do. If you have money, then you can help others financially, if not your friendship is a priceless gift that no one can purchase. Just follow your passion for compassion…wherever it leads you…and your heart will follow.